Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize