i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm both gender and math confused
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
