He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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