if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize