OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
