fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
