Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
