You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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