dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
