I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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