like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I think your dad took our porno
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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