Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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