you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
