I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
