I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
