its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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