She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I smell stomach acid.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
