Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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