it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
