Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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