so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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