Its about making memories worth repressing
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
