It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
