So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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