Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
