Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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