You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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