3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
