We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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