i wish my penis had a tongue
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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