ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize