My nipple is on Facebook.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Please don't give away my fajitas
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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