at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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