susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
