No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
