I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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