I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
