Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
