were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
