I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
