I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
