i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think my vagina is haunted
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize