You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize