I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
