Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
