my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
