Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
