He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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