what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
