I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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