can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
