I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Someone shattered a urinal.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
