I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You work out of a Hotel?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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