Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You are the jesus of drinking
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
