she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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