32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
