I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
