the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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