More tranny stories later!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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