so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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