"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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